For a certain flavor of gay men, a trip to Fire Island is anything but casual… unless it says so in the itinerary!
A person named “Alex Mirov” recently shared a printed, detailed outfit rundown he found in the closet of his Pines rental. It appears that one of the previous occupants planned every ensemble he would wear during his weekend stay, right down to his (no show) socks for tea dance.
“The previous people in our FIP house left this in the closet fjfjwhjfksks,” he posted.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Naturally, the document sparked debate about the author’s intentions. Is this man really toxic, or just really organized?
The previous people in our FIP house left this in the closet fjfjwhjfksks pic.twitter.com/lh3xqhe7Jk
— Alex Mirov (@alexmirov95) August 15, 2024
The first lines that jump out are declarations about “chill” beach and pool days, followed by instructions to wear specific accessories such as “silver aviators” and a “black bracelet.” Our Type-A King leaves nothing to chance!
“We love a planner!,” someone replied.
“Most basic gay that ever gayed on fire island,” somebody else countered.
Indeed, the pre-planned outfits–neon green tank top, rugby penny, red speedo–indicate the reveler in question is trying to embody a certain, basic gay aesthetic. It’s easy to imagine him and his friends posing for a group pic in front of the famed rainbow wall, with an accompanying caption about how the “gworls are gworling” or how FIP “ain’t ready” for… another group of DC gays in their mid-30s. (We can assure you, it is!)
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The New York Times is always on the cutting edge of gay culture…
i know this queen is an "senior consultant" at "deloitte" https://t.co/cLfondQhmi
— anthony musa (@anthonydmusa) August 15, 2024
this is absolutely adorable and the funniest thing ive ever seen but also the type a personality trait has destroyed gay culture https://t.co/mV3bAYH9Tl
— eli (@MonicaJewinsky) August 15, 2024See AlsoHow Fire Island became an LGBTQ+ paradise – the history of the iconic resortOficiální Web V České Republic - Fire Island
They also left the douching schedule in the bathroom https://t.co/vElMNtd7K3
— Asscela Express 🥥🌴 (@biz_socks) August 15, 2024
three outfits measured down to the “braclet” this is not a “chill” day https://t.co/Oy4ih0MTJm pic.twitter.com/GgfwsS9mf9
— alex (@alex_abads) August 16, 2024
majorrrrrr opportunity for a group halloweeen costume here
— stone vanderpump (@booboolafool) August 15, 2024
But in defense of the anal gay… what’s wrong with being prepared?! Fire Island is a storied oasis with a treasured history of gay carousal and hedonism. Can you imagine being caught in Oscar Wilde’s stomping grounds wearing the wrong socks at the underwear party?
The horror!
Gay summer getaways often require multiple outfits per day. There’s beachwear, tea dance lewks, dinner attire and nightclub shorts and tanks… which will likely be discarded after five minutes. Even more confusingly, every look is similar. Daytime speedos turn into nighttime 3-inch inseams, and vice versa. Little details matter!
Just ask Adam Rippon. The Olympic icon recently revealed on Instagram what he packs on for a trip and it’s… a lot. He even brings his own pasta bowl and cutlery! (No word on whether the infamous Fire Island chicken tenders thief brought his own silverware..)
With the sweet taste of alcoholic punch and pungent smell of musk swirling in our gay little heads, it’s easy to be overwhelmed before a beach getaway. A clothing list eliminates stress and cuts down waste… if we’re not counting “spare outfits” or various pairs of white Converse sneakers.
My adhd ass would’ve done this too
— Kevin Saucedo-Broach (@kevsaucebro) August 15, 2024
I have no choice but to Stan this diva for putting all of this effort into planning outfits that absolutely no one will notice https://t.co/NkEJiabeFw
— kev (@bigtallgayguy) August 16, 2024
Leave type A gays alone!!!! https://t.co/gWdkcuDvgY
— Southern hom*o (@Southernhom*o) August 15, 2024
The people hating on this are the annoying friends that make their group sit around while they scramble to get ready 5 minutes before they're supposed to be somewhere. I just know this queen made the itinerary for the trip. Every group needs this person. https://t.co/0GaroCfvdR
— Curtiss (@CRNATX1991) August 15, 2024
god forbid a girl be organized… https://t.co/K9oOcTd6M3
— greg (@libidinalspaces) August 15, 2024
Seriously, this list has everything: red guard fanny packs, dynamic pattern Penguin shorts, a travel outfit for the ferry ride home. Fun surely must follow…
Right???
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